Lupita Nyong’o breaks down the importance of having role models in the media and what they tell us about our psyche [x]

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icarly-official:

that escalated quickly

icarly-official:

that escalated quickly

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rosiedance asked: not disagreeing with anything you have said, but thought that perhaps i could point out that she did apologise on twitter? i dunno, if there was a problem with that i havent seen then i'm sorry for misinforming you/saying the wrong thing.

olyusha:

yeah i saw it but 1. this is a half assed apology if i’ve ever seen one 2. it’s less ‘i’m sorry about what i did’ and more ‘sorry that you misunderstood’ and 3. she outright denies that she was victim blaming when …she was? that’s not how you apologise for something? by denying that it happened?

olyusha:

carriehopefletcher:

I’d just like the point out the 4:01 show video was aimed at teenagers who are in their early relationships who are only just approaching sexual encounters. It wasn’t aimed at those who have been raped or abused but to those who may be made to feel uncomfortable or pressured in their own relationships. I’m very sorry again that my wording made it sound like I was accusing those who have been abused, weren’t strong enough to say no. That is obviously not what I think because I’d be a stupid, horrible person if I did! If you have been abused, it’s your abusers fault entirely. But this video was aimed at those who are just finding approaching their first sexual encounters tricky because they’re not sure how to go about it. Due to everything that’s gone on recently within the YouTube community, everyone jumped to the conclusion that the video was aimed at the victims or to people who are currently being seriously abused. I feel my responsibility lies with the generation below me who watch my videos every day, to empower them and make sure they know how wonderful they all are and how much they’re worth so they recognise when someone’s treating them less than that.

I’m still getting streams of abuse, calling me a victim blamer and a rape apologist when I’m just someone who worded a sentence badly in a 4 second clip of an entirely well meaning, and hopefully helpful video.

Please can we stop this now and focus our energy and efforts on those who actually need our love and support.

Xxx

god i don’t know why this is so hard to understand

it doesn’t matter what you meant, it matters what you said. your intent is completely moot when you end up not only being incredibly offensive, but really really misinformative. even if the video was aimed at ‘teenagers who are in their early relationships who are only just approaching sexual encounters’, that’s still absolutely the wrong message to be sending out! rape is never a matter of a lack of self respect or anything of the sort!  

just accept that what you said was remarkably wrong and apologise, don’t backpedal and certainly don’t make yourself the victim here. saying shit like ‘well obviously i wouldn’t think that because only a horrible person would think that and i’m obviously not a totally horrible person’ is just such an incredibly dense self righteous thing to say good god just own up to it. stop apologising for people misunderstanding you, and apologise for what you actually said. learn from this. 

vinebox:

worst pain imaginable

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laurassbutt:

littoralbones:

buttodenkirk:

have u ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating

I thought you said beheaded

that would not be an accident

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bryarly:

carriehopefletcher:

geometricelectric:

Okay, so there’s a fuckton of shit surrounding things that Carrie Fletcher have supposedly said ‘victim blaming’, and I think it’s something I need to talk about. First of all, if there were someone that irresponsible, who would be pro-victim blaming, then they would NOT have the audience Carrie…

That analogy is BANG ON! Bravo!

Xxx

I have a few problems with this. 

1) How large someone’s audience is has nothing to do with their ability to be responsible or not victim blame. Given that so many of the abusers have/had large audiences, I feel it should be obvious that number of followers does not equal moral high ground.

2) Saying that people should learn to protect themselves and that responsibility is a two-way street, discussing this in terms of not putting yourselves into bad situations…that is victim blaming. That is what you are doing. “If s/he hadn’t been drunk,” “if s/he hadn’t worn that,” “if s/he hadn’t been alone at night,” are all victim blaming. Doing this says, “Well, it’s not your *fault*, but you didn’t *stop* it.” Which implies that you could have.

Yes, people should be educated about what sexual assault is, what rape is, what abuse is, what they can do when they find themselves in those situations. These are useful things to know. However, acting like people won’t be raped or assaulted simply by doing The Right Thing is so grossly incorrect I can’t really wrap my head around it. People can do everything “right” and still get hurt. To use your plane analogy: what if the oxygen mask fails? What if your life jacket doesn’t inflate? To use your car analogy: what if one of the drivers is drunk and runs onto the sidewalk? 

On another note, knowing what you should do doesn’t necessarily mean that you can do it. When you’re safe, you can easily imagine yelling, or fighting, or running, or any number of things. But when it’s actually happening, all that can fly out of your head in a second. You’re so frightened you don’t remember what to do, you’re so stunned you can’t move, and if you know the person - well, it can be hard to imagine hurting them. It can be hard to accept that they’re actually doing the things they are.

Abusers, especially emotional abusers, make a habit of confusing their victims. In retrospect, or from the outside, their abuse can be very easy to see. From the front lines, not so much. Before you can react, you have to know what’s happening - and for many victims, you don’t know. Or you know, but you don’t want to admit it. You might love the person. You might fear them. You might have a sense of pride about it. “Oh, I would never get involved with someone who’d do something like that. I’m too smart. I know too much about it.” 

Guess what? Shit happens. Horrible things happen to wonderful people. There is no one “type” of victim. There’s no cookie cutter profile. Acting as though there’s a step-by-step system for avoiding being a victim implies that only some people count - those that did exactly what society said would work, and then got hurt anyway. And that is simply not the case. 

You’re right, it would be wonderful to live in a world where the people who are actually responsible for abuse - the abusers - would not do what they’re doing. That would be great. It would also be amazing to live in the world you suggest, where “taking responsibility,” as you put it, meant automatic safety.

Unfortunately, we live in neither world, and suggesting that we do is judgmental, unfair, and deeply damaging to victims. I guarantee you that they have thought of each and every thing they could have possibly done to protect themselves (even if they were not actually feasible), feel guilty already, and that all you’re doing is making someone already suffering from trauma feel worse.

You are victim blaming. You don’t want to admit it, because it’s not a nice thing to do, but that is what you’re doing. 

Signed,

A victim who’d rather you not.

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Tags: rape t abuse t

olyusha:

watching carrie hope fletcher desperately try to backpedal her way out of her stupid comments is so incredibly satisfying 

dynamicafrica:

In Photos: Portraits by photographer Jalani Morgan.

It’s always strange and a bit surreal to me when I look at a photograph of strangers and somehow manage to feel as though the person behind the lens has so aptly managed to capture the essence of those pictured. Perhaps it’s a bit of romanticism on my part, but I can’t help but feel that way when looking at the work of photographer Jalani Morgan. What may on the surface seem to be a simple portrait becomes an intensifying three-way relationship between the subject, the photographer and viewer.  A two-dimensional image is brought to life and in a matter of seconds, upon gazing at Morgan’s portraits, I have no option but to feel a close connection to the unknown faces captured by his lens.

Jalani Morgan is a portrait, fine art and documentary photographer. 

Born in Toronto, Ontario, and raised in Scarborough. He was influenced by his parents’ teachings of the African Diasporas and politics and through that is interjected into his art. 

He produces work that investigates the representation from the African diaspora.

Currently he is studying at York University in Toronto obtaining his degree in Anthropology and African Studies.

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zenglendo:

ღღღ

zenglendo:

ღღღ

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thekatitube:

DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY

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"

There are very, very few African-American astrophysics PhDs. That’s for a reason. I was doing something people of my skin color were not supposed to do.

I was stopped and questioned seven times by University police on my way into the physics building,” he explained. “Seven times. Zero times was I stopped going into the gym — and I went to the gym a lot. That says all you need to know about how welcome I felt at Texas.

"

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, an anomaly in American science

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fckyeahundergroundhiphop:

fuegoking:

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

The rarest most illest shit I’ve ever seen in my entire LIFEE

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Tags: for Venus WOW

fen-1994:

Why do you keep saying that?!

Heteronormativity in action.

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